Traveling With The Old People

I LOVE TRAVELING, even with the elderly…

I never stopped vacationing with my parents and I hope my kids never stop traveling with Sweet Husband and I. We’ve made the best, most hilarious, and most touching memories traveling as a multi-generational group through the years, and I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. I strongly, strongly suggest you schedule a multi-generational trip as soon as you can. My only regret is that we didn’t start sooner and do it more often.

Learn from my mistake—start planning RIGHT NOW. 

So I’ve been extremely fortunate to travel with my parents well into their 80’s. Pop’s last cruise was the summer before he died in October, 2016. It wasn’t the easiest or most comfortable cruise of his life, but I know he was happy to make those memories at that pivotal time. Traveling as I did with them for decades, I have advice for you at every age, and every ability level. I’ll hit some recommended trips in another blog, but for today it is my sole intention to convince you to get to planning.

Let me convince you it’s a viable plan, first…

Is This Kind Of Traveling Worth It?

All three kids (and one fiancee…) were here for dinner tonight, and unprompted started talking about some of the famous trips in our shared history. There was much laughter, and good-natured arguments about who said and did what to whom. It was a dinner table conversation similar to hundreds before it—centering on our history, shared not only with us, but with parents and cousins and Aunts and Uncles. Point is, our memories revolve around traveling with everyone, including the elderly.

“It is the glue that holds us all together,” Pop would tell me. 

Every single trip we have taken has been worth everything: The planning, the time off, spending the money, doing the tough traveling with three young kids. Everything. It is always worth the effort. 

Sometimes, I had no say in the destination (I’m looking at you, Asheville, North Carolina cabins!!!), but it was still an amazing trip that I would joyfully repeat if I could. There were trips not everybody could make, and trips with huge blow-out fights, even a shark in the water (Hello Ft. Lauderdale!) but it was always worth it. 

How To Pack When Traveling With The Elderly

There are definitely some differences when I helped my parents get ready for vacations as they aged. In the early retirement years, they didn’t need help or assistance with anything, but that changed about ten years ago. Traveling with the elderly requires a touch more planning:

Clothes

There was a common change in my parents as the years passed, and they never realized it. They were always cold. So, for a summer Caribbean cruise, they packed, well, summer stuff. I had to go back into their suitcases and add sweaters and long pants to make sure they were comfortable. They also failed to pack a “comfy outfit”. That’s what we call our soft, lounge-style outfit we hang around the hotel room in. It wasn’t something my parents thought about, and I had to make sure it was in the bag for every trip. 

Meds

My parents never forgot to pack meds. And then… it happened… Pop dropped the pill holder. Fortunately, I made sure we always had a few days extra of every pill they might need. I learned this little trick one day when Mom spit out a pill she couldn’t swallow. She still needed the pill, so I just broke another one in half, but it got me thinking “What if this happened and I only had the exact number of pills needed?” 

Along this line, too, are the OTC things they MIGHT need. Pop had trouble with his spine and neck near the end due to arthritis, and he liked those heat patches, so I made sure to pack them, for example. I always make jokes about how it’s like traveling with toddlers, but it really is similar—you just aren’t quite sure what will or won’t happen every day. 

Convenience Items

My parents could sleep on any type of mattress with any type of pillow, so I was lucky they never complained about not getting good sleep. However, Mom was adamant she had to have a lap blanket while traveling. So I took her favorite with her no matter how we were traveling. Same thing with her reusable beverage cup—she likes the kind with the built in straw—so I make sure she has her favorite soda in her favorite cup. Like I said about toddlers—it’s all about avoiding the temper tantrums and tired crying.  

When You’re Driving

My parents crossed this great country by car multiple times in retirement. At one point, they owned houses in Florida and Arizona, so they went back and forth every three or four months. They absolutely loved a road trip. Pop loved driving, and Mom was in her glory sitting in the passenger seat giving color commentary and feeding Pop peanuts. 

There are absolutes when traveling by car with the elderly, so write these down:

• You must have a comfortable and reliable car. Nothing ruins a road trip faster than having to call AAA!!! Except maybe a sore tailbone!!! One trip to Disneyland, Pop demanded to sit in the third row of the minivan with all seven seats filled, and I thought he was nuts and tried to talk him out of it. It turned out that from that seat he could extend his legs all the way and got a fantastic nap! 
• Keep to a strict schedule of frequent breaks. Despite the fact that they often said “We don’t need to stop”, we kept to a scheduled break every two hours. Whether they need the restroom or not, it is medically important for the elderly to get up, stretch their legs and walk around a bit every few hours. 
• Bring everybody’s favorite snacks. My travel cooler was stocked for one trip with everything for a 1, 3, 5, 32 or 67 year old might potentially want to snack on! It was a tedious task to pack for all seven of us, but there is nothing worse than hangry people—at any age!!! Don’t forget drinks, too. One time all I had were Capri Suns, and Pop looked at me like I killed his dog!!!

When You’re Flying

This is definitely my preferred means of travel, even with my parents. Unfortunately, the entire process has become so much more stressful, and my parents reached the point where they dreaded the long, cross-country flights near the end of their travel days. A few tips for you:

• Get wheelchair assistance in the airport. Pop fought this bitterly, until he actually did it, and it cut the stress right in half! Just the quicker line through TSA made it worth the tip! (Don’t forget to tip!)
• Stick to non-stops when you can. Why extend the trip for more hours and potentially more flight delays? Plus, on those long-haul flights, there is more chance for your loved one to get up and move around during the middle portion of the flight. 
• Bring all important medications, paperwork, etc., in a carry-on bag. We also learned the hard way to have a full change of clothes on you in case of a problem or accident while enroute. 

Where Will You Stay?

This is the easiest part of traveling with the elderly in my experience. As long as I did my homework in advance, the hotel portion of the trip was effortless. 

• I kept it to national chain hotels, so I had a good idea of the quality level we would find. 
• Included breakfast is also on my non-negotiable list, because Pop was a huge breakfast eater, and it really mattered to him to be able to relax with the paper, coffee and a bowl of cereal to get his day started.  
• Another tip I started following with my parents is the concept of interior hallways. It gave my parents a much better sense of personal security if the hotel door did NOT open directly to the parking lot. 

Scheduling Each Day

This is definitely the DIY section of this week’s blog. What you are doing is very personal, and I’m sure you are an expert in scheduling your loved one’s time. Just a few general tips you may not have considered:

• Only see one family at a time. As Mom became more easily confused, having a big BBQ with everybody there became overwhelming, so we visited with one family per day.
• Have they seen that national landmark? When we traveled as they aged, we were quite selective with what we took them to see. In addition to their physical mobility, we wanted to save their energy and attention for things that were either new and on their list, or favorites they really wanted to see again.
• It is lunch time. We made sure not to push too hard, particularly with their regular routines. We kept mealtimes similar in time and scheduled breaks mid-day so they could rest and be excited and ready for the evening events.
• Don’t discount theme parks. Sure, they rode very few rides, but the last trip to Disney World with Pop, I have great memories of kids pushing his wheelchair to meet Mickey, and sitting on his lap eating ice cream. Get the wheelchair, cut down the time in the park, and do it!

So should you do it? Heck yes—especially if you are visiting people they love and don’t get to see often. Mom’s last trip she got to see a new great-grandchild and some of her nieces and nephews one more time—it was magical and worth it. 

And, whatever you do, document that experience in photos. That way you won’t forget who Hunter carried out of the water in Ft. Lauderdale when that shark showed up…which was the topic at dinner tonight. 

I can hear Pop now…“It is the glue that holds us all together.”

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about traveling with the elderly!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check how to motivate dementia patience, here, or see a more in depth look at what respite care is, here! Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

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