Traveling Sick

Pop Cruised Four Months Before His Death

Traveling sick. Some people thought I was a monster. Nobody had the guts to say it to me directly, but I saw it in their eyes. “How could she take her sick father on a cruise ship?” “Doesn’t she care about her father’s comfort?” Yeah…my way isn’t for everybody, that’s for sure.

In the middle of bone cancer, with diminished use of the single remaining kidney, and a general decline in his overall health, I booked a cruise.

It’s what I do. It’s what I’ve been taught to do. 

“Keep planning, Pat, and whoever comes, comes…” Pop’s words to me. Over and over again through the years.

So I did what I’ve always done—what I still do today—I planned a cruise. 

Expectations

Yeah, I had plenty of those, and they were absolutely tempered with Pop’s abilities. I knew exactly what I was getting into, and how hard it was going to be on him—and on me—but I knew the rewards would be worth it. 

And, yeah, I talked to the doctors about traveling sick. I talked to all of the doctors. They were skeptical—quite skeptical—but they didn’t try to stop me. They talked about his diminished mobility, and how to move through the airport with minimal discomfort for him.

None of them tried to stop me. 

Choosing A Cruise Line

Mom and Pop have extensive cruise experience, with everyone from Disney to Princess to Holland and Royal Caribbean. Pop’s favorite…Carnival. My parents are simple people, and they enjoyed the more relaxed—and more identifiable—food experiences on Carnival. Plus, they were always conscious of my kids having an enjoyable experience, so we mostly stuck to Carnival. 

The first thing I did was call Carnival, and speak to their Guest Services team about the best way for Pop to be comfortable on the cruise. We settled on an itinerary with no tendering, and upgraded the cabin to a handicap accessible suite so he could move around more comfortably in the bathroom.

My top suggestion for you is to call the cruise lines personally with your list of questions—you won’t be the first person asking them. And they will have all of the answers to help you make a good decision for your family.

Be Sure You Pack Everything

No matter how comfortable and confident you feel with your decision of cruise line and ports, don’t trust anybody else. Pack absolutely everything and anything your loved one might need. That way, you will be ready for anything. While I was confident that Carnival would do its absolute best to help us, I recognized that they had 2000 other passengers as well. I only had one Pop. 

Just like any other trip away from the house, be sure you have anything you need for their physical comfort. From the pillow for the wheelchair to the extra outfit in case he had an accident, it was up to me to make sure he would be physically taken care of and comfortable.

If you feel kind of like a sherpa, you know you’re ready!

Flying Him To The Port

Traveling through an airport when you’re sick is pretty difficult. If you live within driving distance of a port, you are very fortunate indeed, and I suggest you use that port for convenience reasons. For us, however, we were flying to Florida from Nevada for this adventure. 

Airline Considerations

Lovers of Southwest Airlines, we knew we would get preferential boarding for Mom and Pop, which helped them mentally prepare for the trip. Unfortunately, they refuse to use an airline bathroom, so that was a bit unnerving for the long flight, but it worked out fine. Southwest is fantastic at handling assistive devices—we had both the wheelchair and the walker—and it worked out great.

Transport Considerations

We did have some stress with TSA, however, so be prepared for that. They required Pop to exit the wheelchair and walk unassisted through the metal detector. The pins in his arm set off the detector, which delayed the entire process. I was very happy to get through TSA, and suggest you prepare yourself mentally for that stressful situation. 

Don’t Leave Home Without Them

This trip will be like a regular family vacation on steroids, and, like I said, you’ll feel like a sherpa. Embrace the multitude of things you need to have with you—they will absolutely make you and your loved one feel more comfortable once you reach your destination.

Use your own wheelchair

We learned that people with personal wheelchairs are boarded before people borrowing the airline wheelchairs. While this might not sound like a big deal, it made Pop feel much better to get on the plane first and get settled. Plus, we had a chair we were comfortable with for the entire vacation.

Bring the walker, too

I almost didn’t bring the walker, and boy am I glad I grabbed it! In the cabin, Pop didn’t use the wheelchair and was able to rely on the walker entirely in his stateroom. This made him feel much more comfortable, and more secure moving around without help. 

The medicine cabinet

You know this is a big part of what you need to consider. Don’t forget that whatever you take, you need to take extras!

• Prescription – I know you’ll grab all of the “regular” pills, but consider those intermittent use pills, as well. For example, Pop wasn’t using Valium regularly, but I’m glad I had it so he could travel more comfortably!
• Over the counter – This goes back to not trusting the cruise line. Bring absolutely everything you might need. Start with the Metamucil, Boo Boo…

What About The Ports?

I will tell you straight up that this cruise wasn’t about the port days. This was about getting Pop on to the ship, where he could indulge in his absolute favorite pastimes one last time. We booked zero excursions for the group.

Depends on the port

This itinerary was chosen because of two things: It had no tender ports, and it had no new ports. We were returning to places where Pop had enjoyed himself in the past, and weren’t going to tease him with looking at a favorite city from the middle of the ocean. 

Talking a little stroll

While we didn’t do a single excursion together on this cruise, we absolutely left the ship. Traveling sick doesn’t mean we’re stuck. Thanks to the trusty wheelchair, we were able to wheel Pop right off the ship for an hour of strolling down the streets and checking out the local beaches. We timed our walks with his daily schedule, and didn’t stay out too long. 

Stop for a beer, Pop!

And, we stopped for a beer or two. Walking around the port areas, you can almost always find a sidewalk cafe or two serving some local food and some nice cold beers. We didn’t stay long, but it was nice just sitting around a table enjoying a beer in the sun. 

Living Life Onboard

Once the highly stressful travel days were behind us, we had an absolutely fantastic cruise. It was relaxed and slow, and just what we all needed before what we knew to be the final push for Pop. 

Just like the 50+ cruises before this one, Pop spent his afternoons on the balcony with no shirt on, napping in the warm sun. He did his crossword puzzles near the main pool while eating lunch from the Lido buffet each day, smiling at the kids running and jumping in the pool. He laughed at Mom going to Bingo each day.

It was magical. 

Enjoy Your Dinner

Then, there is dinner.

Every cruise he had ever taken, Pop never missed a meal in the Main Dining Room. He enjoyed getting dressed appropriately, and the slow, leisurely pace of a fine meal. When we cruised as a full family with 27 of us, it was the only requirement that everyone show up for dinner. Pop and Mom would sit at a different table each night, relaxing and talking to different kids and grandkids. 

So, we followed that rule for this last cruise.

We met every night, and the kids would tell Mom and Pop everything they did that day. How much ice cream and pizza was consumed, and what was happening in the teen’s club on board. We showed them pictures from our excursions, and talked about what we saw ashore.

We ate together. We ate slowly…and together. 

We savored it. The food and the company.

We laughed.

So, Traveling Sick…Is It Really Worth It, Pat?

When we got home, Pop took a turn for the worse. Frankly, I think he was declining before and on the cruise. But he would never let me see that. 

He knew how important the cruise was to me. To Mom. For a week, we could forget everything, ignore everything. 

It wasn’t easy on Pop, or Mom really, but they went through it like the strong warriors they were all of their lives. They showed up. They tried.

So, you want to know if it was worth all the effort, the discomfort, the stress.

Every. Freaking. Minute.

Four months later, Pop died. And when I looked at him, I saw the smiling guy on the balcony without a shirt on, napping in the warm Caribbean sun.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR!!!

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about traveling sick!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out things to avoid talking about, here, or if you’ve read that, check out how to talk to your siblings, here! Or maybe you want to hear more about Pop, here. Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

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