I LOVE YOU TCM!

TCM? Passionately in love. Bordering on adoration. I worship you.

Mom has been a Hollywood groupie her entire life. Growing up very poor and underprivileged in Newark, NJ, the weekly trip to the movie theater—she says it was a nickel—was just about the only thing Mom had to look forward to. She went every week, and her love of all things Hollywood has never dampened.

About 20 years ago, we took her to Hollywood. She wept at the Hollywood sign. She swooned at the Walk of Fame, and she went apoplectic at John Wayne’s footsteps outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater. It was, quite possibly, her favorite trip ever. I’ve still got the picture of her kneeling beside those footprints right here in my office. 

They remind me of simple pleasures. 

So, now, Mom can’t do much at all. She no longer enjoys any of the things that used to get her interest—not the word puzzles or jigsaws, not reading rag magazines or cooking. All she has is her television. And her never ending love of Hollywood.

Enter TCM. TCM is still included with no upcharge on our cable bill. It is a wealth of Hollywood movies—the great, the not-so-great, and the never-heard-of. It is 24-hours a day, 365 days a year, non-stop with no commercials.

No. Commercials.

If you recall, I’ve blogged about how invasive and disgusting commercials are going after the elderly with scary scenes of people losing money, not having enough insurance, needing additional warranties, on and on trying to fleece the elderly out of their hard-earned and quickly diminishing nest egg.

Suggestions For Your Loved One

If you follow TCM for a while, you will find out not only their patterns, but also you will know when they are having marathons or other events they host (Mom loves when they do the musicals), so that you can make sure that your loved one can see that classic. Here are a few to get you started that make my mother lose her lunch!

• Gone with the Wind – This leads to so many conversations about my Southern Aunt Lizzie. They usually show it from noon to five pm, so the timing is perfect for Mom.
• Casablanca – An interesting story, this is Mom’s favorite Humphrey Bogart, so she never misses it!
• Wizard of Oz – I took Mom to see Wicked some years ago, and ever since that, she always talks about it when this fantastic fantasy comes on.
• Some Hitchcock – I’m more careful with this one, because some of the material gets her a little anxious and agitated, but what a storyteller!
• Anything John Wayne – Hanging above the bed in Mom’s room at the facility are two pictures: The seven of us from years ago, and a picture of John Wayne. Enough said!

Western Channel Is My Runner Up

I was at the facility this morning, as a matter of fact, and was surprised to hear French coming from her television. I thought she accidentally changed the channel, but it was a foreign language film fest with subtitles on TCM.

No, thank you, my beloved TCM.

Off to the Western channel we went!

Another diamond in the rough of cable television, the non-stop Western station is Mom’s second favorite. Like TCM, we are looking at primarily shows and movies that don’t include a lot of cursing, graphic violence or sex, so it’s all okay for Mom. If this is something your loved one likes, look for this station on your cable list.

Just get ready to mute those pesky, long commercials!

Game Show Network Is In The Running, Too

Okay, in a pinch, try out the Game Show Network! It’s not ideal, because Mom loses interest when she doesn’t get any of the answers correct, but it will do if necessary. Fortunately, many of the shows they highlight include very old—think 1960 and 1970—television and movie personalities, so she usually can recognize one or two people.

You’re just stuck with some horrible hosts, and those blasted commercials.

Channels To Avoid

• Geared to seniors – aggressive commercials – Before you introduce a new channel to your loved one, I strongly recommend that you preview it’s offerings—particularly in the commercial field. The attempts to get the elderly to call and fork over their credit card number is very upsetting for me, and I’d hate for anyone’s loved one to get caught in one of those webs.
• Regular TV – commercials they don’t understand – Maybe even more frustrating to Mom are those networks with commercials she doesn’t even understand. They talk too fast about products she can’t imagine—how do I explain “Plan B” to her?—and she loses interest and starts flicking from channel to channel.
• Avoid the news – Nothing, but nothing, upsets Mom more than the news. We avoid all news channels at all times—frankly the entire facility avoids them—and suggest that if your person is watching news, you be there to answer any questions or diffuse any upset. 

What Else Is Free?

• Stream some music – Just like her taste in movies, Mom prefers older music. Makes perfect sense to me, and it is very easy for me to stream music while I am visiting her so she can hear some old favorites. It’s a great day when she will start to sing along with my phone something from the 1950’s. She has a spectacular voice that hasn’t diminished with age, and she loves to use it. My favorite is when we sit in the backyard at the facility and listen to some tunes—it gets her out of her room, away from the television screen, and gets some fresh air in those old lungs. Try it sometime!
• Share some videos – We learned this trick years ago when Pop had so many different doctors appointments, not to mention long days in the chemotherapy chair. We were able to distract her from the medical nightmares we endured by streaming not only some of her favorite movies, but her beloved General Hospital! She didn’t mind sitting and waiting while she had the earbuds in and was watching something on my laptop. 
• Share your social media – This suggestion comes directly from my dear LeeLee, who uses this every time she visits Granma—log into your social media and let them share! Not only does LeeLee share pictures of her lovely cats, but they can find tons of adorable cat videos for Granma to watch online. Sometimes I will just scroll through the camera roll on Facebook with Mom, because some of those pictures are really old and come directly from our house. I’ve also read threads of conversations from my cousin, Theresa, when we chat about our kids, husbands and lives. By including Mom in all of these touchpoints, she gets to enjoy some new media, but also gets to reminisce about things that she enjoyed with those people and places. 

No Matter What

Whether your loved one is living in your home, living independently still, or is in a facility like Mom, you can’t possibly be there all the time. Even when Mom was here, I was at work every day. You need to fill those hours in ways that will be enjoyable to them, and not trigger anything negative in their minds. 

Ultimately, your loved one will be relatively stationery, like mine. Many of the hobbies and activities they used to enjoy will no longer be available to them, so you need to supplement their activities with more passive endeavors. The very best thing you can do when they reach that level is to engage those neurons and make them fire! Memories are the best way for them to make connections, so consider building on that foundation with things that will spark not only their attention but their excitement. 

Nothing, but nothing, warms my heart more than that little burst of excited noise Mom makes when the Wizard of Oz changes to color. 

Thank you, TCM. 

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about TCM!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out therapeutic lying, here, or if you’ve read that, check out more dementia problems, here! Or maybe you want to hear more about Pop, here. Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

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