Growing Older With Grace And Dignity
Sounds familiar, right? This is what every single person on Earth hopes for as they walk through the aging process: Staying healthy. Everyone wants to age and die with grace and dignity, ending their lives with the same passion and vigor with which they lived.
Nobody imagines losing your independence, your ability to care for yourself, or your mind. It’s too ghastly for most of us to even consider.
Well, Pop got to live and die with dignity. With just a few examples following various surgeries and that last week, Pop was able to maintain control of his life and personal care, not relying on anyone to help him with basic tasks of the Activities of Daily Living until his quick death at age 86.
Mom is another story entirely, as severe dementia continues to ravage her beautiful mind, taking with it all semblance of independence, grace and dignity in her life.
We don’t know which of these will be our story in the end, so it is important that we make the absolute most of our opportunities. We need to play for continued independence, and an old age marked by dignity and grace. Let’s talk about how we do that.
Keep Active
Pop used to tell me he could walk forever and never get tired, and he really could. Years as both a postal carrier and a military reservist gave him incredible strength in this area. So, as he started to decline, it was extremely important that he continue to walk as things progressed. This healthy habit, for sure, extended his mobility far past when he should have been wheelchair bound.
No matter what their definition of “keeping active” might be for your loved one, you need to encourage them to continue on that path. For Mom, it was going to Bingo every other day. This activity helped her keep a good routine of getting ready in the morning, doing her normal morning chores around the house, and getting herself prepared for the day. It may not have been a gym workout, but it kept her active long past when she might have stopped, and added great benefit to her life.
Eat Well
It is very important, as your loved one grows older, that you take control over their eating habits. Left to her own devices, Mom would have stopped eating regular meals several years ago, as her appetite left with her mind when dementia started to get worse. If I didn’t make things that I knew she would enjoy—and then force her to the table some nights—she would not have gotten the nutrition she desperately needed. I even see this now in her facility, because if they don’t physically come into her room and get her, she won’t even come to the dining room for meals.
While the number of calories your loved one needs might decrease as they age, they still have the need to eat a diverse and healthy diet. Doing this for them will support their continued health—not just physically but mentally as well.
Maintain A Healthy Weight
Along these same lines, we need to make sure that our loved ones are maintaining a healthy weight as they age. This tends to be easy for the elderly, as their appetite declines. Unfortunately, many times they start to rely more on pre-packaged or, even worse, fast food, for their meals. Not only can these options pack on some unwanted pounds, but they lack the vitamins, minerals and good fats our elderly people need.
As Mayor, it is up to you to make sure that there is a balance between the fast food options and the healthier ones. Perhaps maintain a good pantry of healthy snacks, or limit the fast food to one night per week. Whatever you do, make sure they aren’t supplementing “real” food with junk.
Develop A Good Relationship With Your Primary Care Physician
We love our primary care physician. She is a sole practitioner who we have been seeing for about 20 years now. She has gotten to know all of us, and has a memory like a steel trap for everything we have gone through.
Get yourself a good primary care doctor, and then don’t let go. I know that most doctors now are involved in a “practice” with multiple providers. This adds a lot of convenience to your care, since you can usually get seen quickly, even if it’s with a different doctor. For example, my doctor was on vacation last week, so I had to schedule for this week because there is no back-up for her (except in an emergency situation), so it’s a bit less convenient.
No matter what style of doctor’s office you are dealing with, try to get them to know your loved one on a personal level if possible. It will help you get more personalized and specific treatment, while supporting your ideas about what a healthy lifestyle will look like.
My best piece of advice: Get on a first name basis with the nurses and scheduler. They really run the joint.
Keep Up With Your Health Screenings
Just this past year, I made it my mission to catch up on every health screening and preventative test my doctor had been suggesting to me for several years. I’m glad I did it, and now I’m “off” for a few years.
For your elderly loved one, it is even more important that they maintain their health screenings to live their best life in old age. Not only do they need to keep up with the blood tests and visits to the cardiologist, but don’t forget their eyes, ears and teeth! Mom didn’t tell me for over a year that her new dentures weren’t a perfect fit and were giving her trouble. This was before the dementia became severe! She just “didn’t want to bother me”. As The Mayor, it is part of your responsibility to keep track of all of these different doctors, and make sure that your loved one is cared for from head to toe.
Minimize Unhealthy Habits
Mom is obsessed with chocolate. In any form. Following eating some chocolate, she will request more chocolate. Every time.
Mom is also 93 years old, with absolutely no health concerns. She doesn’t even have one specialist. She’s beyond healthy in body. So I give her chocolate. Whenever she wants it. The facility gives her chocolate on a daily basis, too. Good for them.
This isn’t the habit I’m talking about here.
I’m looking at you cigarette smokers! Step over here heavy drinkers! Those are the habits I’m talking about, which, unfortunately, are probably long-standing habits from decades ago.
Everything from the medical field and common sense tells me I should strongly discourage your loved one from partaking in these habits. They aren’t healthy, and absolutely can contribute to a shorter lifespan and more health issues. At least, let’s try to cut back as much as possible.
But…Mom is 93. Let her have her chocolate.
Stimulate Your Brain
I’ve written extensively about activities and things that will help your loved one stimulate their brain and keep those neurons firing. I can’t stress this strongly enough—we need to keep them THINKING as much as we possibly can.
There are so many different ways for you to do this with your loved one, starting with just talking to them. I like to go through the entire family tree with Mom on a regular basis. Not only does it help her remember all of the good times, but it forces her to concentrate and try to put names to faces. I use pictures people have sent her to remind her of names and relationships, and she always enjoys this activity.
Big Brother Bob got her an adult coloring book of places in the United States. She really enjoys looking at all of the pictures, and talking about places she and Pop traveled. Word search puzzles are her favorite, because they are relatively easy for her to do, compared to a logic or crossword puzzle. I like the word search, because it also forces fine motor conditioning for her to circle her answers.
No matter what you choose, keep your loved one thinking as much as you can. Their brain health is as important as their physical health, in my opinion.
Keep Good Relationships With Loved Ones
Research shows that maintaining good relationships with different people is very good for your loved one’s overall health. There are many different benefits that I can mention in this section, from going out to lunch with people to celebrating holidays with a larger group. No matter what form these relationships take, it is important to nurture them for the mental and emotional well-being of your loved one.
While Mom hasn’t been able to keep up with technology for a decade, I can certainly facilitate a Facetime conversation with somebody so she can see exactly who she is talking to. While these are getting fewer and fewer as she gets worse, it never fails to give people a thrill to see her talking to them.
Never, Ever Give Up
It’s all about attitude.
Here in Crazytown, it’s my attitude that is the most important. Mom takes her cues from me almost exclusively now, so it’s even more important that I project health, happiness and positivity every time I enter her apartment.
Yes, she needs to participate in exercise or healthy meals, but I have learned that my attitude and how I present the task makes a huge difference, so make sure you are bringing your very best self to every interaction with your loved one.
They deserve it, and it will go far in keeping them healthy.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR!!!
Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about staying healthy!
Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out how to help caregiver burnout part one, here, or if you’ve read that, check out managing medicine strategies, here! Or maybe you want to hear more about Pop, here. Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!
Please leave a COMMENT about any tips you may have!! Or comment with YOUR story! Any dementia stories? Let me know!
Please, feel free to contact me or leave a COMMENT with anything you would like to hear more about! Or reach out with any unrelated questions, comments, concerns, or random outbursts of excitement by clicking here.
Oh! And don’t forget to check out my video series by CLICKING HERE!!!
Resources
https://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/healthy-aging-secret
https://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/resources/infographic/healthy-aging.htm
https://www.parentgiving.com/blogs/patient-daily-living/10-essential-health-tips-for-seniors
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