Introducing: The Mayor of Crazytown (Us!)

Welcome to Crazytown, we are thrilled to have you here. I am Patti Pilat Buono, and I am the Mayor of Crazytown. Crazytown is a very interesting location, with diverse landscapes, and unlimited possibilities. Living with a dementia patient or Alzheimer’s patient is an exhaustive prospect, and it is important that you control what you can, and manage what you can’t control.

Just like the Mayor of any town, I am responsible for many different things, but the most important part of this job is overcoming that which is uncontrollable: the dementia-related symptoms. I love living in Crazytown, and have been doing so for many years now. Whether my Crazytown was overrun with three kids under the age of five, or two parents shuffling into their Golden Years in my house, I’ve had tremendous experience with this beautiful location. Sometimes frustrating, Crazytown is a dynamic, ever changing landscape just like the desert we live in, and just as beautiful.

How to Manage Crazytown Like a Mayor

Taking Care of Your Dementia Patients

As Mayor, I have worked diligently to provide a meaningful and purpose-driven life for each of our citizens amidst the chaos. There are absolutely times of peace in Crazytown, but you always have to be ready for the tide to turn and things to get hectic. Here are some obstacles I have faced, and how I manage our town:

The Hotels of Crazytown – Dementia Patient’s Living Space

Since you will be in Crazytown for quite a while – dementia is a slow-moving beast – it is important to have comfortable and safe surroundings. To accomplish this, for example, I have minimized the clutter in my mom’s rooms. Instead of having numerous options for clothing in her drawers and closets, I purged her wardrobe so she only has a few choices on any given day. I found giving her too many choices often led to frustration and refusal to comply. There are absolutely days when she won’t change out of her pajamas, but we try to minimize that by offering favorite alternatives.

Her furniture, in similar fashion, is limited and very familiar to her. Introducing anything new to dementia or Alzheimer’s patients can be scary and frustrating. I won’t even change the pillows on the couch or the towels she uses to shower. If she purchases these things, we will use them, but I don’t “tempt the dementia beast” by introducing new products unnecessarily.

The Restaurants of Crazytown – Nutritional Tips for Dementia Patients

Feeding a dementia or Alzheimer’s sufferer can be very frustrating, as they will often refuse formerly favorite foods. Their proper nutrition is extremely important, so you need to rely on a combination of consistency and vague trickery.

For example, the daily probiotic – important for the elderly – is always offered immediately upon waking up, prior to the usual cup of tea. Even with diminished capacity, mom knows she needs to finish the probiotic before enjoying her cuppa tea. Whether she awakens at 7 am or 10 am, this is the routine.

Another suggestion to manage smaller appetites is to offer small portions of key foods to prevent overwhelming the patient. We use small dessert cups to offer minimal portions of fruit. She is much more likely to eat 10 grapes in a nice presentation than any grapes when given the entire bunch. I have found great success offering very small portions consistently throughout the day instead of larger portions of anything – it just overwhelms her. Further, I always stay with her, encouraging the first bite of all food. I’ve found that if I can get Mom to take one bite, she is more likely to continue eating. If she puts it down without trying it, it won’t be touched.

Parks & Recreation of Crazytown – Keeping your Dementia-Riddled Citizens Entertained

There is nothing more therapeutic for the citizens of Crazytown than the great outdoors. We are fortunate to have a backyard area with multiple places to sit, covered and uncovered spaces, lighting and tables of various sizes. Maybe you don’t—no reason not to seek out these spaces! Crazytown at large includes a wide variety of park spaces, where Mom can watch kids playing on playgrounds, people walking all kinds of dogs, and enjoy the cool breezes as it sways the trees and flowers.

I’ve found that sitting outside in different types of weather has brought forward very different memories from both of my parents; I heard snow stories as it cooled down, and summer vacation tales during the heat of the springtime. Tapping into these memories keeps your dementia/Alzheimer’s patient engaged and excited, which is exactly what we want for as long as possible.

The Local Businesses of Crazytown – Getting Your Dementia Patients Out The Door!

Dementia patients tend to like to stay in one place, but it is important for Mom to get out and about as much as possible. Mentally it helps keep her engaged and alert, and socialization is also important. To convince her to do errands, we make her responsible for certain items.

Running out of hand soap, for example, is cause for her to visit the nearby dollar store. If I need soda, it is her responsibility to visit the local food store. These responsibilities help her feel needed and important in our family structure, while satisfying my desire for her to get out into the community. Once she is out of the house, there is always – ALWAYS – another quick errand that must be done. A visit to the ATM, or driving through your favorite coffee spot are great suggestions. While they are short and simple, it is another opportunity to converse with Mom about the neighborhood; new trees, a store that is opening, anything to keep that mind occupied and engaged. It is not always easy to get her out of the house and into the car, so take every opportunity to point out EVERYTHING in the neighborhood.

Overcrowding in Crazytown IS a Problem – Do NOT Overwhelm Your Dementia Patient

Nothing is worse for a small town, like Crazytown, than overcrowding! It makes everyone uncomfortable, and nobody can breathe! The same is true for dementia and Alzheimer patients like Mom. She can’t handle multiple people in her space; it makes her anxious and uncomfortable.

It is very important that she has contact with others to provide socialization as well as mental engagement, but don’t overdo it! Putting multiple people in her space leads her to shut down. Often, she will demand a nap to find some peace and quiet. Recently, Mom had her regular caregiver, a visiting nurse, AND a visiting physical therapist in her room all at once. Despite being comfortable with all three of these people, it was simply too much stimulation! She refused to communicate with anyone except the caregiver. Now we purposely try to stagger these visits, so we can get the most benefit out of each person. Even favorite people can become too overwhelming when they converge as a group.

Visitors in Crazytown are very much appreciated, but have one or two at a time—not the entire family. If Mom has multiple family visitors, we have them sit in her room in shifts, so that she can interact with each person without getting overwhelmed.

Paying Taxes – Keeping Everyone in Crazytown Involved

It is important for everyone in Crazytown to feel like a true member of the community (especially the dementia/Alzheimer’s patients)! So, participating in the finances of the organization is important, even if it’s only to a very small degree.

It makes Mom feel good to contribute products to help the town run more smoothly. This is precisely why delegating small tasks is so valuable. When we use something she purchased, Mom always comments on where she bought it, or some other small detail. This engagement is great, and we use her errands to keep her memories current. 

Other ways to incorporate your parent into the family structure is through small tasks and chores. For example, Mom likes to dry and put away some dishes periodically. To support this contribution, we often leave several dishes out of the dishwasher, so she can come into the kitchen and do her part for the smooth running of Crazytown. Most of the time we end up finishing this task ourselves, but we are still fortunate to have her contribute. Mom’s attempt is worth the slight inconvenience to us.

Animal Control in Crazytown – Using Animals to Help the Elderly

I can’t tell you how valuable living things are to dementia and Alzheimer’s sufferers. We are fortunate to have a wonderful dog who should be a licensed therapy dog. It was the dog that told me when Mom fell and broke her hip. It is the dog who alerts me when Mom tries to leave the house. It’s the dog who sits with Mom while she eats (even it it’s only hoping for a pizza crust). It’s the dog who leans on Mom when she is stressed.

However, as Mayor, you may not have time to add a four-legged friend to the family. Use nature! Having a hummingbird feeder outside Mom’s window has provided hours of entertainment for her, especially when the pesky pigeons try to land on it and Mom yells at them through the window. Even the goldfish bowl provides plenty of entertainment—trying to get our fish, Cinco, to respond to her gentle tapping. Perhaps plants will work in your circumstances? Having your patient take minimal responsibility for another living thing has done wonders for my mom. 

Well! Welcome to Crazytown!

I LOVE being the Mayor of Crazytown. It can be very tiring and frustrating, but the citizens of Crazytown are worth it. I’ve learned through the years, raising three children and supporting two elderly parents, that the needs of Crazytown, and my responsibilities to Crazytown, are constantly changing and shifting.

The most important qualities of leading Crazytown include:

1. Being Flexible
2. Having Patience
3. Providing Unconditional Love

As long as you can practice those three things on a continuous basis, your version of Crazytown will not only survive, but will thrive under your leadership.

Let me know what YOU think…

What parts of Crazytown did I forget to mention? Please leave a message below with your best tip for sustaining Crazytown—I can use all the help I can get!

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