Are You In The Medical Field?

You need to start learning for eldercare. I am not a doctor or in any way related to the medical field, but I’ve been learning about eldercare since before I became The Mayor.

And I repeat: I am not a doctor or in any way related to the medical field. I have no medical training or education, nor am I qualified to speak to you or anyone else about their medical conditions or questions. All I am is a daughter who loves her parents. 

Yet, for decades now, at virtually every single specialist we have ever visited for either of my parents, I have faced the same question: “Are you in the medical field?”

No. I love my parents. I take my responsibilities seriously.

I know that knowledge is, indeed, power. 

When you start a new job, you need training and experience to become an expert, and as the job evolves and changes, your knowledge and training need to change with it.

Same with this job. The Job. Your Mayoral duties are many and varied, and the lines on the field keep changing with every day. You need to prepare yourself for every eventuality.

Learning Every Disease, Illness, and Injury for Eldercare

Throughout my blogs, I’ve talked about the slow, laborious pace of physical and mental ailments and, in particular, treatments. There are weeks between the initial appointment to the testing to the follow-up meeting when you just might receive the correct diagnosis. Time passes like a thief in the night, and every time we had to wait for information, I felt the cancer was winning. The physical problem continues to get worse, while I sit around waiting for the next appointment.

I found something productive to do with my time and pent-up nervous energy.

I read.

Everything I could find. 

I am always learning about eldercare.

It became so routine for me that I would read medical articles and blogs even when things were good, because I always knew we were one step away from the next emergency. Some of the general information that helped me with both parents included the normal aging process, how body functions slow down in old age, and using natural methods to help my parents face physical, mental and emotional problems in old age. 

Why Should You Do It?

Doctor’s appointments are difficult and stressful situations at any age, and it is particularly frightening for the elderly. In my experience, even the best doctors we had glossed over basic details, and spoke too quickly for my parents to understand everything. It makes perfect sense, really, because the basic information is second nature to them, so they don’t think they need to slow down and over-explain things. I saw that glossed-over expression come over my parents multiple times, and knew they simply weren’t understanding the material.

Further, the medical field—like many disciplines—has its own vocabulary. This vocabulary is widely understood by anyone in the field, but not “normal” at all to the rest of us! Even when they are trying to speak plainly to patients, doctors have a habit of falling back into the vernacular of their profession, becoming impossible for patients to understand. While any one of us can understand “you broke your ankle”, the vocabulary becomes more involved—and significantly less common—as you encounter more involved diseases and problems. When Mom broke her hip, it was easy to understand, but the side effects on dementia from anesthesia smacked me right across the face.  Nobody had ever warned me about that one!

Somebody has to understand what is happening. Somebody has to be learning about the eldercare.

That’s you, Mayor. 

How Do You Do It?

Part of the problem with you diving into these deep waters is that you think you’re still in the shallow end. The first major medical situation we faced with Pop was when they were still in Florida, and a mild diagnosis of A-fibrillation quickly spiraled into surgery to correct it. I wasn’t there, and my parents were pushed quite viciously into “emergency” surgery to solve a problem he didn’t even know he had. They were railroaded before I could step in and surgery was immediate.

It is one of my biggest regrets in life (and I don’t have many) that I didn’t stop that surgery. It was unnecessary, unsuccessful and extremely stressful for my parents, who never understood the need for concern or surgery. They had the best insurance in the world…maybe the doctor needed a new Mercedes. 

That situation is what propelled me to Mayor. After that, we moved my parents to Vegas more permanently, and moved their medical team here, as well. Nothing, and I mean nothing, happened to my parents after that I wasn’t fully aware of.

We should always be learning in eldercare. That’s when I decided to educate myself.

When Do You Do It?

This is the tricky one, isn’t it? How do you prepare for an eventuality you can’t even begin to imagine?

I’m from Vegas, my friend. You play the odds.

After Pop’s prostate cancer, I knew cancer would be back—so I started to prepare.

When Mom started showing signs of dementia, I knew it would get worse—so I started reading.

The body isn’t meant to last forever, and logical things will start to break down, sometimes in a logical order, so you can envision some of what is to come. Arthritis? Virtually guaranteed. Loss of appetite? Definitely. Mobility issues? Logically. Personality and cognitive changes? You know it.

Potential problems

So I tried to prepare myself on multiple fronts. 

• As always, start with your team. Once I started bringing it into conversation, I was stunned how many of my friends were caring for elderly parents, and they were a wealth of information on everything from diet to the best doctors to the next step in the progression of an illness.
• Talk to your primary care physician. Dr. D is the absolute BEST, and I would ask her for suggestions to educate myself. Knowing I’m just a teacher, she would give me websites or podcasts or blogs that were at my level. Let’s face it—I can’t manage most of those medical journals. 
• Armed with somewhere to begin investigation, I took to the internet and my public library for information. I went down a lot of rabbit holes of misinformation (or stuff that was way over my head), but everything I read or listened to gave me a little something. None of it was wasted time.  

Actual Problems

When I knew the disease/problem/issue, I went postal.

• Talk to your loved one. They probably aren’t comfortable speaking in front of the doctor, but you need to know where their head and heart are with regard to this problem. It just might be the time for them to stop the fight, and you need to know that.
• We keep talking about your team, right? Well, each person on YOUR team has their OWN team! Reach out to your team and ask them for other people not in your circle who have managed whatever your diagnosis.
• I read everything I could about the diagnosis, prognosis and treatment options we might be given. It was stunning to me how many different treatment options there were, when the doctor only spoke of one. You might need to bring things to their attention, especially if your loved one is interested in some non-conventional treatments, or palliative care.
• While I read all of the medical information I possibly could, much of it was over my head. No matter what, I didn’t stop digging and reading. Until I understood enough to serve as their voice. 

Some Excellent Resources

Your secret weapon

Why do doctors think I know something? Because I know something: Vocabulary is key. By the time we reached the prognosis and treatment phases, I knew enough relevant vocabulary to speak intelligently to the doctor. I certainly didn’t know as much as I wanted, but I could speak to the doctor in a way they could respond to, and my minimal knowledge emboldened them to give me more details and information that they would have otherwise. Being able to simply open the conversation with them led to so much information I never would have received. 

Use what you’ve got

Have you bought a magazine lately? Me either. BUT…my fabulous public library has about a hundred subscriptions to every type of magazine. Including some that will help you! As much as I read Kiplingers and Forbes for my financial knowledge, I found articles in senior citizen magazines and medical journals that were written at a level I could understand. 

Get comfy down the rabbit holes

I work from the office in my house we have owned for 21 years. Everything related to my parents’ health has gone through this one room. Sweet Husband has delivered gallons of coffee and Coke Zero to this desk as I dove into the internet in search of the “magic bullet” that would ease my parents pain and anguish. Give yourself plenty of time—you’ll need it—and start a simple search. It will lead you hither and yon, and everything you read will make you a more prepared Mayor in this fight.

Paper and pencil

Just a quick plug to remind you to keep the best records you can. You’re going to read and watch a lot, and you will forget things if you don’t have some type of filing system. Remember: Some of these illnesses resurface (I’m watching you cancer), so you need to keep records so you’ll be ready next time.

A mini-list of websites to start your journey

Here are a few of my starting points no matter the illness or problem:

• https://www.aarp.org/health/?intcmp=GLBNAV-PL-HEA-HEA Start at the top with one of the best. AARP is inexpensive, and a wealth of information.
• https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/Resources/LearnMoreAbout/Health.aspx – A government site that could help you find local resources.
• https://abramsonseniorcare.org/resources/senior-health-resources/senior-living-health-glossary/ This location in Pennsylvania offers a great list to get you started with the vocabulary of the aging.
• https://www.joincake.com/blog/retired-magazines/ I was going to suggest Reader’s Digest and Prevention magazines as a good starting spot for you, but the truth is, this list of magazines might help keep your senior citizen engaged! I bring Mom reading material once a week to keep her mind active. 

You Are Not A Doctor

Neither am I. What I am is a loving daughter committed to making the most of my parents’ lives until they are over. Part of my job is to understand and react to everything that happens to them. I can only do that if I am informed. 

Knowledge is powerful. 

It also has helped me sleep better at night. 

I don’t like surprises.

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about learning for eldercare!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check how to motivate dementia patience, here, or see a more in depth look at what respite care is, here! Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

Please leave a COMMENT about any tips you may have!! Or comment with YOUR story! Any dementia stories? Let me know!

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