Eldercare support websites.
Finding Help And Support On The Internet
Those last few years Mom was living in my house, I spent a lot of time in her den with her while she watched television. Every day, from after school until bedtime and all day on weekends, I would sit on her couch while she watched her channels. It was either the cowboys channel—which she loved but had terrible commercials—or TCM (Turner Classic Movies) which has an unbelievable library of movies, and still has no commercials.
I don’t like either channel.
Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes there would be good or interesting movies on both of the channels that I enjoyed. But most days, most nights, most weekends…it was just painful.
So, I sat on the couch with my laptop on my lap. For hours.
I read and I read. I researched everything I could about this monster dementia that was entering my house. I read articles, white papers, blogs and scientific journals. It was hard, but I needed to find eldercare support websites. I’d like to hope I wasn’t looking for that miracle cure, but I was definitely looking for help.
Just like every Mayor of Crazytown before me. I was looking for weapons.
Here are some of the things I’ve found and used through the past few years.
Eldercare Support Websites: Start At AARP.org
I’m starting with a bang, reminding you of the greatest resource on the internet for the elderly. The AARP site is well laid out, and just packed with interesting and important articles for the elderly, and their caregivers. No matter what your question, what the topic or what the reason, you will find everything you need on this site.
To a certain degree, that is.
This is your starting point, and it will absolutely push you into the right direction. However, the information on AARP.org is quite basic, and written at a level that anyone can understand. You, Mayor, aren’t just “anyone”, and you have already done enough research that most of the links on this website are too surface-level for you. You should absolutely start here, but you will need deeper, more technical and in-depth articles for your own purposes.
Honestly, AARP is fantastic for active seniors, but not a great resource for our needs.
Eldercare Support Websites: Digging Deeper Into Dementia
A much more robust resource, the Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org) has a number of resources that could prove very helpful for you. In addition to the information about walks and ways to donate to this worthy cause, this website has information written at both the novice and professional level, so you will be able to find the articles and research that fits your current wealth of knowledge.
Another winner is the Dementia Society of America website (https://www.dementiasociety.org/) which has a ton of information for you to learn more about the disease. With articles, newsletters and opportunities to reach out to other people who are suffering, this website is another great place for you to start as a caregiver to find resources and support. You can also, if you are so inclined, donate from this site.
Eldercare Support Websites: Help With Financial Information
I use my normal financial websites—Kiplingers.com and Yahoofinance.com—for all of Mom’s financial matters. Don’t forget that Pop did all of the heavy lifting—so Mom’s finances were designed to weather any storm (including dementia!) and will continue to serve her as long as she lives. I strongly recommend you visit my two favorite sites listed above if you aren’t already reading about personal finance and wealth management.
A government agency, the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau (https://www.consumerfinance.gov/consumer-tools/educator-tools/resources-for-older-adults) has a number of interesting articles and resources for senior citizens. Protecting your loved one from fraud should be top on your mind, so make sure you read articles on that topic, as well.
Another great resource for senior citizens to gain information on money management comes from the National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org/older-adults/money/management) which as a number of easy to read articles and blogs for you to share with your loved one.
Eldercare Support Websites: Help With Medical Information
I can’t even count how many different websites I have accessed for how many different problems and diseases for my parents. It has been an ongoing effort to stay one step ahead of the doctor with everything Pop and Mom have been through, and I could not have done it without quick fingers on the internet.
There is no way I could steer you in any direction for medical information, because everyone’s journey on The Job is different, and different things will crop up for your loved one than mine suffered. Here is the starting point for everything and anything medical that you need to learn about: WebMD. (www.webmd.com)
Eldercare Support Websites: Help With Social Services
Do absolutely everything and anything you can to get them qualified for social services in your area. Do your research as early in the process as you possibly can, and make use of everything you can find.
Mom qualified for nothing. Nothing.
With no long-term care insurance, but armed with Medicare and retired military insurance, Mom was covered for illness or hospitalization. But the daily grind of dementia…nothing.
When things first started to get bad, I took Mom to adult daycare through the city that was priced based on what you could afford. Mom was the only person there who was paying the full daily rate, but I didn’t care. She loved it, and they took great care of her during the day so I could work.
For most people, however, you will be able to find some free or low cost services for your loved one. Start at the US Department of Health and Human Services site (https://www.hhs.gov/programs/social-services/programs-for-seniors/index.html), as well as your town, county and state sites.
Help With Living With Dignity
I’m not going to give you any links in this section for a very good, but sad, reason.
I couldn’t find any. Everything I looked at was a type of advertisement for some paid services, or national organization that makes money referring seniors to facilities or other services.
This is where we have to get creative, and find some Mayors on the internet who will give you the best advice for helping you develop routines for your loved ones that let them age peacefully and with dignity.
From my perspective, keeping as much of their normal life, habits and routines the same is the very best thing you can do for them, no matter how bad the dementia gets. For example, even though Mom is in a facility, I talk to her every day about what I’m making for dinner. That was something she and I did together for many years, and we would talk about dinner every afternoon when I came home from school. Just having that discussion is soothing and calm for her. I am showing her the same respect for her kitchen prowess I always have. Mom’s entire apartment is filled with her favorite things. The pictures she loves best are hanging in the room, and the shelves are filled with ducks and gnomes and fake flowers.
I can’t restore her bowel and bladder function. I can’t even let her live here anymore. But I know, in my heart, that I am affording her as much dignity and respect that I possibly can.
And you can’t find that in any book, article or website.
Just Plain Helpful
Just a few things I found helpful and soothing all those hours I spent on her couch…
- Support groups – I guarantee that no matter where you live, there are support groups in the area for you to attend, and I encourage you to attend them. If you are doing The Job alone, I know for sure you need other people to talk to about what you are going through.
- Words with friends – Seriously. Having something that I can focus on for a few minutes while I was sitting in there was hugely helpful. I prefer Wordle and Quordle personally, but the original Words with friends is a great resource.
- Slotomania.com – So you can’t make it out here to Vegas, and you don’t have any money to gamble, anyway. That’s okay! There are many slot machine websites that you can get lost in for any length of time!
- Library – Literally—I really mean your local library! I went through so many different books—mostly beach reads—while I was sitting on that couch it was ridiculous. There’s no way I could have afforded all the books—fiction and nonfiction—that I went through
No matter what you do, I hope you will find some use for the untold hours you will spend by their side over the years. It isn’t an easy thing to do, and I can empathize with The Job you are doing. Just remember you are doing it for the person you love, and find ways to keep your mind occupied while you provide comfort in your presence.
And no, Boo Boo, I never found a cowboy movie I liked.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR!!!
Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about eldercare support websites!
Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out things to avoid talking about, here, or if you’ve read that, check out managing medicine strategies, here! Or maybe you want to hear more about Pop, here. Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!
Please leave a COMMENT about any tips you may have!! Or comment with YOUR story! Any dementia stories? Let me know!
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Resources
https://www.familyresourcehomecare.com/top-10-websites-elders-aging/
https://careforth.com/blog/free-resources-for-dementia-caregivers