I Am Not A Nurse. Neither Are You.
Not only am I NOT a nurse, and I have NO training in eldercare nursing, but I’ve ACTIVELY AVOIDED learning anything about caregiving my entire life! My family wasn’t even sure about me becoming a parent, because I couldn’t even keep a cactus alive—and those suckers take absolutely no work!!!
But I’ve been a parent for almost thirty years, and a full-time caregiver for at least fifteen…and I seem pretty darn good at keeping people alive and healthy.
If I can learn and be successful, so can you.
The desire to do a great job is the first, and probably most important, thing that you need for eldercare nursing. Sure, the fact that you love the person you are caring for is super important and absolutely required, but at the core, you need to have a heart for this type of service. Just like parenting.
So, decades ago, I did the same thing I would do in many other circumstances: I started researching.
Caregiving Shares Similarities With Nursing
I continually tell you several things across the blogs. Two of these nuggets are that “knowledge is power” and that “there’s only one Mayor”. Both of these are very important for your success in eldercare nursing as a full-time caregiver, because they both talk about the heavy weight of being the caregiver, and the importance of developing your skills on an ongoing basis.
Professional caregivers are in very similar situations to you and I: They need to know the enemy they are battling, and they are the final word on how to win that battle.
“Eldercare nursing” is like a nurse entering a hospital room, I don’t have any clue what will be on the other side of the door. Will Mom be in Fantasyland today, or cognitively aware? Be fully dressed, or have her underwear over her pants (I call that Friday…)? What about willing to take her meds today, or am I crushing them up in the pudding cup again? While the nurse entering the room probably has her own agenda or plans for the visit, she must often pivot to adequately care for the patient—which is exactly what I have to do.
What I completely and totally lack is the professional training and experience of the nurse. While experience with my patient is extremely important, there is absolutely no comparison to the years of training, schooling and certifications the average nurse has completed.
One of the things I tell you is to “stay in your own lane”, educate yourself as best you can understand, so that you can do the best job possible. Following that advice, let’s research some of the basic tenets of nursing that we can use in our own practice:
The 6 C’s Of Nursing
And in the door walks a no-nonsense, easy to understand and follow guidelines for practicing nurses called “Compassion in Practice and the 6 C’s of nursing.” Originating in the United Kingdom in the early 2010’s by Jane Cummins, then chief nursing officer for England. Finding this philosophy was fantastic for me, because it was broad enough to work in any situation, and logical enough to feed my common sense brain.
I’m very optimistic that you will find comfort and strength in these simple concepts. It’s hard in eldercare nursing, but I still keep up the best possible attitude. They will support everything you are already doing, and hopefully give you the strength to continue fighting for your loved one, and improving your craft as their primary caregiver.
Quite simply, here is the explanation for the 6 C’s:
#1: Care
Care is at the core of everything nurses are tasked with doing in their professional practice. One of the things highlighted in this section is the personalization and individualization of care, based on the needs of the specific patient at the time. That speaks directly to what we do, since we need only serve one patient—our loved one.
#2: Compassion
This key focuses on building relationships based on empathy, respect and dignity for the patient. Known in the profession as “intelligent kindness”, this key is designed to support the patient, and help them recognize the care they are receiving as meeting their individual needs emotionally and mentally. I think of it as “treating them like a person”.
#3: Courage
There is no doubt in my mind that nurses are the bravest people in a hospital or caregiving setting. They are absolutely the “front line” warriors working hard to maintain professional and respectful care for my loved one. Not unlike our position, it is incumbent on nurses to advocate for the patient—speaking up when they see something concerning or that they don’t think is in the patient’s best interests.
#4: Communication
This key focuses on the nursing staff listening to the patient, something that is often lacking with the doctors we have worked with. It is the nurse who takes the time to listen to everything Mom is saying, and especially everything Mom needs, at any given time. Our loved one deserves to be heard, and have their concerns and questions answered before any treatment commences.
#5: Commitment
Nurses have got to be the most professional and committed people I’ve dealt with in the medical community. Like us, they are completely invested in delivering the best possible care in the shortest possible time to our loved one. Like us, this is their life’s work, and they feel quite personally that they need to do the very best, most informed and professional job possible. That’s exactly how I feel, too.
#6: Competence
Professional caregivers rely on their expertise, clinical and technical knowledge to deliver the best, most effective care possible to their patients. We don’t exactly have those things, but over time we have developed ourselves into quite competent caregivers for our loved ones. It’s one of those things I’ve told other people—I can’t really take care of your loved one, but I’m the best person on Earth to care for mine.
What If You Have Doubts?
Nurses and other caregivers have titles and certifications and degrees behind them that can serve to insulate them against the doubts and concerns we “amateurs” might have. I have gotten a lot of negativity, for example, surrounding the food and beverage choices I’ve made for my parents as they were in decline. Regular people would never think to question the decision a professional nurse makes, but they might feel perfectly comfortable being critical and angry with decisions you make for your loved one.
That’s why it is important for you to make every decision purposefully, after considering the alternatives and researching as best you can. I had no problem telling people Mom could eat ice cream all three meals a day if she wanted. She was 85 years old and completely healthy! A little mint chocolate chip wasn’t going to have any negative effect on her quality of life!
That being said, I have doubts every day.
My doubts, however, only come from my own head and heart. I do not respond or react to the opinions of other people—I’m The Mayor of Crazytown for very specific reasons, and after all these years, I’m pretty damn good at it. I know my worth.
So, when people question you, remind them that you are the full-time, permanent medical professional caring for your loved one in the absolute best way you possibly can.
Just keep going. You’re doing great.
You can also remind them that when applications for The Mayor position were posted, you were the only applicant.
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR
Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about eldercare nursing!
Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out part 1 of my Mother-In-Law story, here, or if you’ve read that, check out part 2, here! Or maybe you want to hear more about Pop, here. Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!
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