Dementia In The House – A Story Of Back-Up Mayonnaise

Dementia In The House - A Story Of Back-Up Mayonnaise

Patti Pilat Buono

The Story Of The Back-Up Mayonnaise

Mom was a fantastic homemaker. Right up until the dementia reached the moderate stage, she would continue to help me around the house, especially the kitchen. She would oversee my cooking, and always had a suggestion or a reminder about how to make something the right way. She was never, ever negative. She just shared her wealth of experience whenever she could. 

dementia in the house

One day, she opened the mayonnaise jar to find it completely empty—a normal thing in a big family kitchen. She responded with tremendous passion and relief “It’s okay! I’ve got the back-up mayonnaise!!!” And she really did. She actually had two.My kids were laughing on the couch, and asked Granma if she had a back-up for everything. She looked at them with disbelief, and replied that “EVERYBODY keeps back-up mayonnaise!”. 

Ever since then, decades later, if we are at the bottom of something, my kids will reply with great gusto “EVERYBODY keeps back-up mayonnaise!”. 

Why Is This Relevant?

I haven’t lost my marbles this week, dear reader, I promise. (No, not because of the dementia in the house) My back-up mayonnaise philosophy has saved me many times over, making me reliably prepared for most of the things that life has thrown my way. This philosophy is significantly more important now that you are caring for your elderly person, because you are the back-up mayonnaise. They can’t do things anymore, so it’s up to you. 

COVID

I use COVID as an example in my classroom relentlessly, because of the incredible impact on small businesses. I consider my family my small business, and COVID landed on us like a hammer that nobody was expecting. I was never so happy to have my back-up mayonnaise as I was when members of my household got the COVID. When someone was down for the count, I was the nurse. When I was down for the count, I was useless. There hasn’t been a more important time for me to be sure to have anything and everything to keep my household running. 

Supply chain issues

This is something that is outside of your control, but can have a huge negative impact on your pantry. You never know when something is going to become scarce due to supply chain problems, whether it be at the manufacturer or a truck driver strike. By keeping a back-up of everything you use regularly to care for your patient, you will always be able to go another week or two to wait for something to be available. 

Delivery options

Our generation is fortunate to have delivery options that were unheard of even ten years ago. Who would have thought we could be virtually anything overnight (thank you Amazon!), or that we could order a week’s (or a month’s worth) of groceries and supplies from the couch. Most importantly, something that was off the shelves at my local market might still be available somewhere in another state. The options for delivery made it possible for me to keep up my pantry back-ups even when my local stores were struggling. 

WARNING!!!! MY ACCOUNTING IS SHOWING…

Loyal readers of only my Eldercare blogs might not be aware that my day job is that of a Business Education teacher for Business Management and high level Accounting. When I’m not caring for with my dementia patient at my house, I’m at school. So, since we are talking about economic issues and how they impact your home today, I thought I’d pull out some of my “other life” vocabulary and topics to help you determine what you should hold and what you should fold (Okay, now my living in Las Vegas is showing with card dealing references).

Every business entity relies on some form of inventory method. How a business determines the perfect inventory to keep on hand is an involved decision based on a number of factors. The same is true for your house! You only have limited storage facilities in your pantry and your refrigerator, and other items are fighting for that space. Here are two of the most commonly used inventory methods, and how you can apply them to your house. 

What should you EOQ?

This stands for Economic Order Quantity. It is a fancy way of saying “I have back-up mayonnaise”. Under this inventory method, you maintain a minimum number of the item on the shelf, and when you reach that minimum number, you restock. Some of the things I EOQ are:

  • Adult disposable underwear. I learned very early on that my local Walmart does not always have her size, but Walmart.com does. This is something that we go through very quickly, and I need to make sure I have enough backstocked in case we need it. Since the brand and size are so specific, I keep a backstock in storage at my house, and only bring what’s needed to The Facility.
  • Clothing. Due to her deficits, she tends to run through clothes faster than she used to, so I need to make sure she has a good quantity of her favorites. I will buy jammies and sweatpants whenever I see them at a good price. Bringing these one at a time is also great for her, so she has something new to open and admire. 
  • Personal hygiene supplies. One day I went to The Facility, and they had spilled her shampoo so it was empty. Fortunately, I keep extras of all of her bathroom supplies (shampoo, Vaseline, hair stuff, flushable wipes) so I could bring it immediately. Missing a shower is not an option at this point.

What should you JIT?

This stands for Just in Time inventory. Simply put, this means “buying when you need it,” here, specifically related to dementia in the house. Assuming you don’t have an empty bedroom or extra garage, you don’t have the ability to store that many items. You need to focus on the “hard to replace” items — for me that is the disposable underwear. So, for a variety of items, you need to use the Just in Time method. What are the most common ones?

  • Perishable foods. You can’t hold fruits and vegetables indefinitely, like I do with the underwear. Particularly when I bring it to Mom, I can only bring one banana or one group of grapes. She won’t eat them on her own later, and she won’t remember them in the fridge.  
  • Changing things. Mom’s snack cakes is a good example of this. I buy her what my kids called “lunch snacks” instead of fresh bakery items, because they are packaged better and last longer. However, she only wants one or two Cosmic Brownies or Twinkies, as her tastes change rapidly now. So, for these types of snacks, I buy just a few at a time, so I don’t end up wasting them. 
  • Seasonal items. I like to bring seasonal decorations to The Facility as the months go by, so she always has something timely and topical to look at. Mom has always liked those types of items, and I think it helps her keep track of what season we are in. Anything that keeps her grounded in reality is very important, so I buy something every month or so—it can just be a Dollar Store item—to display on her table for her to enjoy. 

What If You Run Out?

I get a shiver just writing about running out of something! I learned about back-up mayonnaise as a very young child on Valley Road, and I’ve never forgotten the important lesson. How on earth could I possibly run out of something???

Well…I did…..

She ran out of toilet paper and I forgot to bring some. I was mortified and embarrassed, and, even though she didn’t say anything, I KNOW Mom was thinking about the back-up mayonnaise. Obviously, I just got into my car, ran to the closest store and bought toilet paper, but it was a sobering moment for me about my planning and organization. 

It can happen to anyone.

Here comes that team again

You know that really old example of borrowing a cup of sugar from your neighbor? Yeah, well, that really applies here! You probably have friends who follow the “back up mayonnaise inventory method”, too, and they can help you out in a pinch. I’ve called Bestie Boo for some of the weirdest things imaginable…and she ALWAYS has it on hand! It’s uncanny.

When it come to dementia in your house, you’ll find that your support system is more than willing to donate some stuff.

Emergency options

Mom is in a very nice Facility that has been quite clear about what they do and do not provide. That being said, as a compassionate care place, they won’t let her go without. Once I went in to find her in a different brand of disposable underwear, because they didn’t see the back-up bag I had brought. Another time I was given extra toilet paper when she went through it a little faster than normal. 

Unexpected changes

One time, when she was still home, the doctor changed her Probiotic IMMEDIATELY. She was having significant gastric distress, and we needed to change our approach. Fortunately , I didn’t have a ton of expensive Probiotics to throw away, but I did need to find this alternative as fast as I could. Visiting multiple stores wasn’t in my plan for that afternoon, but, as you know, you just do what needs doing at any given time. The important thing was to find the product that was best for Mom.  

Seriously, Pat

Yeah…this is our life. Dementia is in the house and we need to prepare. We need to have a plan for everything, and be as organized as possible. Did I ever envision having to plan disposable underwear as a part-time job? Not at all, but it is now a regular part of my shopping plan. I’ve got a bedroom that now doubles as an inventory storage facility with a wide variety of products. My car trunk is now a mini dispensary for eldercare products, just in case she needs something when I get to The Facility. 

It’s all part of The Job.

It’s an organizational Tetris puzzle, but, man, am I proud to do The Job.

You should be proud of yourself, too. 

motivating dementia patients peaches

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about dementia in the house!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out visiting memory care, here, or see a more in depth look at what respite care is, here! Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

Please leave a COMMENT about any tips you may have!! Or comment with YOUR story! Any dementia stories? Let me know!

Please, feel free to contact me or leave a COMMENT with anything you would like to hear more about! Or reach out with any unrelated questions, comments, concerns, or random outbursts of excitement by clicking here.

6 thoughts on “Dementia In The House – A Story Of Back-Up Mayonnaise

  1. Loved this article, Patti! How is Shirley doing these days! She is in my nightly prayers. I still miss our Bingo group! I’m finally back to calling Bingo at our clubhouse after a 2 1/2 year Covid hiatus!

    1. Mom is doing fine in The Facility. She’s 92 now, and more things are starting to decline and slow down, but she’s still happy to see me every time I walk through the door. Keep calling Bingo as long as you can—that’s how we stay young!!!

  2. Patti, From Valley to Vegas, you are a Human Gem. (And I have two mayonaisse jars at almost all times!)

    Love from Boston,
    D.

  3. Pingback: Patti Pilat Buono

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