Let’s Shop For Some Great Stuff!

Aaahhhh… Black Friday …I remember years and years of storming Toys R Us in the early pre-dawn hours to get the perfect toys at the perfect prices for my kids. I remember hitting the mall at sunrise to grab the latest and greatest fashions for a bargain. I remember cursing Dunkin Donuts for not opening until 6 am, and I remember coming home with a car loaded with televisions before my family was even awake.

Those days are long over.

Now, I hit the internet when it’s convenient to me, and buy from the comfort of my couch in my comfy sweatpants. 

But what to buy? That is the new problem I face, having adult children, a husband who already has what he needs, and Mom. Living in a smaller space, unable to tolerate any clutter on the floors or excessively large furniture for fear of a fall. How on earth can I make Christmas special for her in The Facility this year?

Shopping (on Black Friday especially) for the elderly takes time, creativity and imagination. Perhaps a little help is in order…

For Their Room

Whether your loved one is in a facility, your home or their home, their space is certainly limited, and they probably have everything they could possibly want already. I would start with a very pointed and specific tour of their room. Stand in the middle of the space, and slowly turn in a circle, looking for open areas, things that have outlived their usefulness, or take inspiration from things that she already owns. Do this with Black Friday in mind. 

What’s on the walls?

When I took a critical look at Mom’s room last year I realized that the pictures she had on her wall of all of her children and grandchildren were getting pretty old. She had a collage of photos taken from a family cruise she and Pop gave all of us—in 2007! So instead of adding her pictures framed on the wall, consider updating older pictures that are no longer active. A little tip for you—don’t take the old picture out of the frame. Just cover it with the new photo of the same group, so that she can always open the frame itself and look at the original picture for comparison. Some of her frames have multiple pictures on top of each other, and it’s definitely fun to open the frames from time to time to look at the progression of that group of people.

Has that recliner outlived its usefulness?

Mom’s den has two recliners and a couch. I always sit on the couch, and Mom would switch from one recliner to another. One day, someone else was visiting and they were sitting on the couch, so I took the closest recliner. I sunk about a foot in that damn thing! It hadn’t occurred to me that the recliners—in constant use for my Mom—might be getting too soft and not comfortable. Even more importantly, a chair that is too soft and deep makes it extremely difficult for Mom to get out of the chair. That is hazardous! So take a minute to “test drive” all of their furniture to make sure it is still serviceable for them. 

Lie down on that bed!

After the debacle of the recliner, I went and laid down on her bed. While I was fortunate her mattress and box-spring are still strong and firm, this is another place that could become hazardous for your loved one. After you have tested the bed itself, try to get up. Not like you—try to get up like THEM. If you had more limited mobility, would you be able to hoist yourself out of the bed? Doing this test might show you where you could install additional grab bars, or find another solution so they can easily get themselves out of bed. 

Check the lighting.

If they can’t see the dog lying on the floor, they could easily trip and fall. If they can’t read the paper, they will just stop reading. You need to make sure that all of their spaces are well lighted. Not only does dim lighting cause a tripping hazard, it also makes it harder for them to enjoy reading a book, doing a puzzle or using their cell phone. After you upgrade the voltage on their lights, consider their light sources in the nighttime. It is important that you have adequate lighting in the evening for them to move around. One thing Sweet Husband did was install touch lights around Mom’s space, so she could very easily turn them on when she is tired or disoriented. 

For Them Personally

Getting practical gifts is definitely important and useful for the holidays, but I always make sure I have something personal for each person. While not necessarily expensive, taking the time to choose more personalized gifts lets everyone know that you spent some time considering them and their importance in your life. So, think about your loved one for a few minutes and consider that for Black Friday. What could you get them that they would love and appreciate?

They’re always cold.

This is an old person thing. Mom is always cold. All the time. Her apartment in the facility is at 75 degrees at all times, and she is still cold. So another sweater will always be welcome! Layers work well for the elderly, so I stick to cardigans or fleece jackets for Mom, so she can put them over her blouse. For the bottoms, I’ve gotten her several different lap blankets to use. Oldest Child has even made a few blankets for her! Another product to consider is thermal socks, so those toes remain toasty. 

How about reading material?

Every week, I bring Mom something to read while I’m not there—a letter from Big Brother Bill, or a magazine from the house. Since Mom doesn’t like to read books at all, those are the best things to get her to keep her mind occupied and her interest. So, how about a magazine subscription? Reader’s Digest is a great one for her, because it has a lot of short articles she might like. Another thing to consider is a puzzle book. Pop loved doing word searches, so he got that every Christmas. Doing puzzles has the added bonus of engaging their mind and helping those neurons keep firing as the dementia gets worse.  

What’s the special sweet treat?

Sure, I bring Mom chocolate every week or so…but Ethel M or Godiva? That’s a holiday offering! While I know you routinely bring treats, I’m sure you can find something out of the ordinary that would have that feeling of holidays to it, whether you bake special cookies and treats for Christmas, or your favorite bakery has a holiday special. 

Get outta those slippers!

Mom loves her slippers, but those backless slides are just too much of a fall risk for her now. Consider upgrading your loved one’s footwear this holiday season. Not only will it be a great gift for them to have something new and cozy, but it will help put your mind at ease about the risk of falling. The more sturdy and well-fitted the better.

Practical Gifts

You’ve kind of uncovered my holiday secret with this blog. I get Mom three things every year on Black Friday, and they fall under these three categories. The least fun one is the practical gift. Many years, it’s something she has resisted getting for herself, but would definitely enjoy. Now that she’s at The Facility, the depth of gifts has certainly dried up, as space and use have changed dramatically. I’ve still got a few good ideas in my back pocket, though, and I share them with you here:

My good friend “Squatty Potty”

Loyal readers has heard the wonders of this product before, so I’m just reminding you how helpful this might be for you or your loved one. Slightly raising the legs to assist when constipation hits, this is a good gift for anyone. RobberBaron actually gave this as a wedding gift once…seriously.

Fancy bath products are always good.

This is a very big one for both of my parents. While Mom loves the smelly, lathering abilities of higher-end bath products, Pop also loved to have a good lather…just not smelly. Mom looks forward to the weekly shower I give her, because the nurses do a thorough but quick job during the week. On Saturdays, she sits in the warm shower, smelling the soaps and lathering up multiple times. It just makes a regular “chore” something more enjoyable. 

How about a warmer to get good scents?

Obviously we need to avoid an open flame, but warmers are a wonderful way to keep strong, pleasant scents in Mom’s room now. She enjoys the ability to change the scent with the weather and the season, and loves the way it looks on her table. You can purchase these items anywhere nowadays, and getting replacement warmers is easy. 

Upgrade that walker!

How about an improvement on some of the assistive devices your loved one is using? It’s very easy for one of the brakes on the walker to go, or the various nuts and bolts to get stripped. This is a great time to get a new cane, or a wheelchair with a better turning radius. They need to use these devices 24/7, so they should have the newest and most convenient model possible. 

Don’t Forget Yourself!

We’ve talked many times about self-care for the person doing The Job, and this is the perfect time to revisit it! You are working full-time caring for your loved one, and they appreciate it. What they can’t do is go out shopping on Black Friday to buy you a nice gift to show their love and devotion. 

So do it yourself.

I will buy a gift for myself from Mom this year, because I know she would if she could. 

I’m thinking those fancy bath products sound good…how about you?

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

Wow! You made it! Thank you for reading about Black Friday for the elderly!

Hey, since you’re here! You may as well check out fall prevention, here, or read about how lucky we all are, here! Or, check out our other topics here! Either way, I appreciate you!

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